Travel with Little Ones

In our resent trip to Hong Kong, we experienced flight delays, gate changes, and even being bused out to the middle of the runway to board the plane (which seemed strange to us in an airport the size of HK).  But nothing rivaled seeing two elderly ladies get into a fight while on the runway. The screaming match quickly escalated right before take off. The fight began to get physical and grew to include other passengers from the senior citizen tour group. The instigators had to be restrained and after more delays, our plane was finally able to take off. 

As Philip and I laughed over the sight and tried to debrief what on earth had just happened, we started talking about traveling. As singles and young marrieds, we LOVED to travel. The excitement of the unexpected was fun. However, when little people get thrown into the mix, the fun level drops dramatically. The thrill of the unexpected somehow turns into the dread of the unknown. We still love to travel and visit new places, but the getting there can be rough.

Despite the problems, Bella was a fantastic traveler on the HK trip! But thats the interesting part, when the two unknown variables (travel and little people) collide, it is impossible to predict how things will go. Our loooong flight to China was one of our better travel experiences, where a short seemingly simple flight from Virginia to Ohio was one of the biggest travel nightmares I can recall. As we raced through the airport, I had Bella on one hip and a trash can for throwing up in the other. Philip followed behind as a pack mule, miraculously carrying everything we owned. The airline staff was rude, baggage was a terrible (meaning they lost our luggage [twice]), ... I could go on and on with the details of that disaster. 

Before our big flight to China, I asked other mom's if they had advice for the long flight with little ones. They basically said, "Prepare to be miserable." There is definitely some truth to this! Traveling with little ones is hard regardless of what you do. But we have found that attitude plays a HUGE role. Our family has started saying, "We are going to have a bad day, happily together." That just reminds us that we are on the same team and that no matter how bad things are we choose to be happy or mad. Philip and I have found that Bella responds and replicates so much of our attitudes. Even baby Emma in my tummy is more cooperative when I am calm. :) We certainly have not mastered this, but its what we strive for.

The second thing people always joke about is Benadryl.  We personally haven't tried this one. We do give Bella a dose of Tylenol right before we board. Flights do bother her ears and this seems to help. Our prescription for a good travel day:  A dose of Tylenol for Bella, a couple shots of understanding for Daddy, and for Mommy probably best to hook up a running IV of patience. 

Almost always our fatal flaw in traveling is not enough sleep. We can't control it when Bella keeps us up the night before, which happens often before a trip. But when we leave too much to be done the night before or yes even the morning of the trip, no one sleeps well. It keeps us awake and it unnerves Bella. Being tired aggravates my morning sickness. It makes everyone grumpy.

Now that all that 'attitude' stuff is out of the way, we have found a few practical trips for traveling with little people. We discovered most of these the hard way. I hope that they are helpful and save someone else the pain we went through.

Another big mistake we made on our long trip was bring too many carry ons. Lets face it, luggage is expensive now days. I was determined to get every bit of free stuff on that plane as possible (which for us meant 3 carry-ons, 2 back packs, a diaper bag and stroller). It is not worth it. If I could do it again, we would have paid for an extra bag and walked onto the plane with arms to spare. We can only carry so much, and it is so much harder to chase Bella when you look like a Sherpa. 

Even with one bag, Bella can be a handful.

The next thing I would suggest is to look for a cart. It is almost always worth the time to search for one. When traveling, internationally carts are usually free. However, you do have to leave them behind and then find another one each time you go through customs, immigration, security, ect. 

Also, be sure to ask for arrival and departure cards on the plane so that you don't have to stand in the crowded airport filling these out. We have found that airports in Asia are a lot more accommodating to families than airports in America. Sometimes, security checkpoints will have a family line with almost no wait. The signs can be easy to miss in the midst of chaos and there isn't always someone there to tell you about it - so its something to look for. Also, in the long customs line, sometimes workers will allow families with young people to bypass the line and enter the "US Diplomat" lane. We've experienced this pretty consistently by being sympathetic and overwhelmed as we pass by airport workers.

Ask at the information desk at the airport if they have a play area for children. We have found that these are more common at international airports, but they don't always have signs and are not easy to find, so you may need to ask. This is the wonderful playground in the HK airport. Just how I like it. A big carpeted space for running. No bulky things for her climb and fall off. No little toys for sharing germs or choking.

If there aren't playgrounds, we usually try to find a less crowded area for her to walk or run around. Sometimes we can even find an unpopulated moving sidewalk. She loves to try to walk backwards like a treadmill.

I have to be particularly conscious of this one. Waiting to board our last flight, Bella began to line up our bottled drinks and bowl them over. My initial reaction was,"No! Bella" But after some consideration, I realized why not?  We try to be consistent in our parenting, traveling or not. We don't allow disobedient, bad behavior. But if she is doing something that is not hurting anyone, destroying anything expensive, or forming a bad habit or pattern of behavior. Why not?  Go for it! Bowl those drinks. Although, in hind sight, I would have remembered to tell Daddy about Bella's game so that his soda didn't explode on his shirt when he came back from the bathroom. (whoops. my fault).

This one seems a bit obvious, but I feel like it needs to be included to complete the thought. We have found it so helpful to bring special snacks (we have a very food motivated child) and a couple new toys to keep her entertained on the plane.

Last but not least, one thing that makes a huge difference is to try and ignore the pressure to have a perfectly well behaved child (even though this is really hard). Especially on a long flight, there are going to be moments of crying and moments of loud playing. That pressure makes everyone feel stressed and does not help.

Our Eat-cation in Hong Kong

We have lived in China for three months now. For no particular reason, last week was a tough week.  Getting simple tasks done took forever and seemed to be really difficult, nothing went smoothly and things weren't working properly. Life was just tiring. Of course, our rational minds know that those weeks where things just don't go right are unfortunately universal, but it was one of those weeks where you think 'if I was in America this would be so simple.'

The perfect place for me - "The old weak and pregnant" seats.

In any case, the end of our three months in China meant that we needed to leave and re-enter the country for our visas. Our trip to Hong Kong (the closest place to get this done) couldn't have come at a better time! We were ready for a break. People keep asking us what we did or saw in Hong Kong. As pathetic as it sounds, the answer is almost nothing. We have no cute touristy pictures to show for our time. But the trip was great! It was just what we wanted and needed. A couple days to rest and recoup, spend time as a family, and EAT!

It was so restful and wonderful to sleep on a mattress! This is a picture of the bed we have slept on for the past three months. It is a box spring with a not-so-durable piece of foam on top. I realize people sleep on a lot worse and I'm not complaining, but my pregnant body was aching for a softer place to rest at night. Before I get too much sympathy, I should let people know a real mattress has been ordered and will be delivered this week. But never-the-less after three months, it's felt like a long time and the hotel bed felt AMAZING!

Our bed at home.

The hotel also had a pool. Swim caps required. Even little Bella wore one for the first time. :)

Hong Kong has a lot of western food! We got to eat things like Burger King, Ruby Tuesdays, and even Italian food!! While we LOVE local chinese food, it was such a treat to fill up on those beloved comfort foods that we have missed. We decided to call this an Eat-cation!

About to dig into potato skins with cheese and bacon, mozzarella sticks, and buffalo chicken strips. Yum!

As an added bonus, we got to reconnect with old friends!! We had so much fun getting together with this sweet family. Bella loved running all over HK with their little ones.  It was wonderful and encouraging to have this long over due catch up with them.

These locals showed us good time too! They took us to a FANTASTIC Italian restaurant! They completely spoiled us and sent us home with the perfect souvenirs from our eat-cation - food from America! :) We were so blessed by them!

The Curls are Gone. The Handsome Man Remains.

This is Philip's hair cut story. The before...

For about $5 USD, he got a nice long wash, hair cut, another wash, and then a style. We weren't sure exactly how to say what kind of cut he was looking for, so we brought in a picture. At the last minute, we caught that they were planning to not only cut Philip's hair like the man in the picture, but also to dye his hair black with gray highlights like the salt and pepper look the man had. Whew. Glad we paid attention during color day of language.  

While Daddy got his hair cut, Mommy, Bella and Emma enjoyed a blizzard treat. :) I also found out that for the same $5, I could come back for just a hair washed and head rub for 1 hour! 

Looking forward to that. 

We got a little scared when this dog got her hair cut in the seat next to Philip. 

But Philip's grooming went much better and he didn't bark nearly as much. The curls are gone. But the handsome man remains. "Where is Daddy's hair" says Bella. 

Paparazzi

We've had a lot of people respond to a recently posted picture of a group of people gathered around our Bella taking photographs.

Coming from a melting pot culture, where the term foreigner has a very high thresh hold and people of all different colors, languages, and cultures can be found all over the place, passing someone that looks a little different than you do is hardly a moment to stop and capture on film. But not all cultures are that way.  Bringing our red headed, blue eyed, friendly toddler to China has brought nothing less than the attention we expected and then some.

All the attention can be overwhelming for anyone, especially for little people. When we go into crowded places, a group can quickly form around us. People constantly ask for pictures, to hold Bella, and even for Bella to touch their babies (not completely sure if this is for luck or social status improvement or something else completely).

How do we handle the paparazzi? Before we arrived, I started to think through how I wanted to react to all the attention. I really wanted to respond in a way that showed a balance of love to the Chinese culture and limits to protect my sweet girl.  Bella is young enough, that I hoped I could model the "right" way to handle this social pressure and mold her attitude in a similar way. I didn't want the attention to make her feel uncomfortable. At the same time, I really didn't want her growing up with an unbecoming diva attitude.

 I began reading on the subject, consulting with experts, and asking other foreigner moms who live in China for advice.  I found that responses to the attention varied greatly. I didn't feel like I had a good grasp on the "right" way. Isn't that the hard part about being a parent? There is no exact mathematical equation for the "right" answer.

It was really interesting over the past couple months, to watch the situation unfold just as we expected and still not being sure of the "right" answer.  As I have watched Bella, her own sense of limits and boundaries have become very clear to us. She is happy to smile and wave, even blow some kisses, to her adoring fans. But she has made it perfectly clear that she wants to do this from the comfort and security of her Mommy and Daddy's arms. She does not want to be picked up by strangers. As strangers become friends, her line also transitions to a more trusting position. She also lets us know when enough is enough. After all, a one year old doesn't go to the playground to pose for pictures, she wants to run. Or when a crowd become very large, we all feel increasingly ready to go.

I have been amazed that little one year old Bella was created with this wonderful internal sense of limits and boundaries, set specifically to her. All the research in the world, couldn't come up with a better response than the one she was was created with. I have been so proud of her for listening to those instincts, communicating them to us, and handling all the attention so well!

How do we handle the paparazzi? We respect the limits that Bella has set for herself. We never push her into a situation that makes her feel uncomfortable or unsafe. We greet the attention with an understanding smile and tolerance. Our family knows that when Bella starts to wave goodbye, that means she is ready to move on. We say, "Bella, say goodbye to our friends" and walk away.

Meet Baby Two

We're having a baby girl!!!

Meet sweet baby Emma Jane

Sweet little toes

No first black eye entry in the baby book?

When Bella turned one years old, it was so hard to accept that my baby was growing up. Weeks after she turned one and I found out that I was pregnant, I joked that my attitude changed to "Come on kid. Time to grow up. You gotta master these stairs. And its about time that you fix your own snack." Of course this is not true though. Each month as Bella turns another month older and I update her baby book, it is hard to accept that my baby is well... not really so much a baby anymore.  She is 15 months now! I would know. After quadruple checking the calendar, I realized that lately when people ask how old she is, I have been telling them a month younger than she really is. Its crazy how fast time is flying by! But it is LOTS of fun to watch her learn, discover new things, and have her 'firsts'. It makes me want to hold on to each of these firsts and treasure them.

Bella said her first Chinese word.  "猫" (mao) or "Cat"  We have a cat that lives right outside our apartment and Bella loves to visit him. AiYi was so excited to hear that she spoke Chinese. She said later that afternoon she ran all around the neighborhood saying "Cat" and chasing the cats.

Bella got her first two teeth! Now we've just got to get her a hairbrush.

Bella also got her first black eye. This may sound disturbing, but I'm quite proud that it took this long for her to get visibly banged up. She is a fun, high energy girl. I could tell she was a wild woman as she constantly moved in my tummy. I saw this when she rolled over at two months and when she invented a new way to crawl at 3 months. She would lift her body and arch her back, supporting herself by her head and feet. Then, scoot backwards in a backwards crab walk sort of way. We knew for sure we had our hands full when we found her scaling the walls of her toy at 7 months.

Her next big move: climbing. We look away for a second and she is on top of something. Anything. She can easily climb out of her pack-n-play, on top of the couch, even the coffee table.  Setting a simple box on the floor can be dangerous. If you turn away for a moment she will climb it, sit on top of it, and wait to get in trouble. We have no recent pictures of her climbing abilities since we don't want to encourage behavior which we have made clear is "off limits."  But her favorite thing about our current apartment is the stairs. The area of stairs is very dangerous and difficult to block off (especially since they don't sell baby gates in China). So, for now we have made a wall of suitcases that block them off. Although she now knows how to move them, it at least slows her down enough for us to catch her.

Needless to say, a black eye was a long time coming. Where is the "First Black Eye" line in the baby book, huh? Its a close call what I say more these days, "I have to have to pee" or "Bella! sit on your bottom. No Climbing." If I could put a quarter in a college savings fund every time I have to tell that monkey to stop climbing, Bella could afford to go to the most expensive university. That is of course, IF her head is intact by then. And if it is, I will feel like quite an accomplished parent. 

Bella's black eye. Hard to see in the picture. Not hard to see in real life.

She also LOVES to dance. She comes up with such funny dance moves. I love watching her whether she is imitating Mr. Noodle (sesame street) or twirling around the room like a princess with Daddy.

 She has really enjoyed hide-a-boo (our family mix of hide-n-seek and peek-a-boo). We laugh every time she shrieks with joy as she 'finds' someone coming out of the bathroom. 

She is quite proud that she can now easily spin in circles and walk backwards (not at the same time, two separate accomplishments). She also has really gotten good at stacking blocks and sorting shapes. Bella loves little chairs and stools.  She  also now likes to "read" to Mama.

Bella came out of the womb a strong willed, opinionated thing, but this month she started picking out her own clothes. Even with her limited vocabulary of 5 words (mama, dada, hi, bye, yes), she makes it very clear to Daddy she doesn't want to wear what he picked out as she shakes her head no and hands him the 'right' outfit. 

 

Bella has become a really good helper. She can help clean up her toys. She loves to imitate Mommy or Daddy doing work. She even learned how to run little errands like go give this paper to Daddy.

Bella loves to talk on the phone! She will pretend that almost anything is a phone. She is quite the babbling chatterbox all the way around. She mimics lots of words and sentences.

Our growing girl, full of smiles and energy, is 15 months!